Is the MISTRESS blamed more in an affair?

Here is where we may agree to disagree.

I'm not condoning women getting involved with married men and I'm not condemning the wife who chooses to forgive her husband after an affair. It happens and it's a wife's choice if she wants to try and regain that trust in her marriage. As Christians, we're taught to forgive no matter the choice to stay in the marriage or leave.

I do feel society is harder on the mistress than they are the philandering husband. I don't care if he's a 1-time cheat or a 20-time cheat. He knows better than anyone that he is married and he should respect his marital vows. So, why even get another party involved in the first place? And when the you-know-what hits the fan, here we are (SOCIETY) making all kind of snide remarks about the other woman. What about the man who allowed her into his life knowing he had a wife? Yeh, some women are aggressive and will go after a man, even if he is married, but PLEASE, a grown man knows how to say NO. And let's not fool ourselves like they're NOT chasing women down either.

Mistresses, STOP nodding your heads in agreement and smiling. I got something for you, too. Why are you making it easy for men to disrespect women? You think you're really doing something if a married man is breaking you off. You're so naive thinking it must be something his wife ISN'T doing at home. Child, please! He's being a man, trying to get it from whoever, whenever, and all you're doing is disrespecting your bodies as well as your sistahs. How often do they leave their wives? And when they do, how soon is it before you're the wife or live in girlfriend, and he has another mistress?

If we're going to place blame-let it be on all responsible parties!

Enjoy reading books by Linda R. Herman? The Mistress Cries, Too will NOT disappoint! Look for this title in 2009 from Xpress Yourself Publishing!


Society sees the wife of a cheating husband as the victim, but the mistress cries, too. She's been lied to and misled by the same man, so why are we quicker to forgive the man and condemn the mistress?
For him, life goes on and he continues in his roll as the church deacon if not the esteemed minister himself. The wife forgives him because after all, he's the father of her kids and they've been together since their teens. He's all she knows; all she wants to know.
But oh behold, the other woman is branded with the letter A. She's deemed as nothing but a harlot or a modern day Scarlett O'Hara if you will. Nobody wants to hear her side of the story-until now.
Linda R. Herman is going to bring it in this contemporary tale about a woman scorned and how far she'll go to get her point across-I, too, am a victim!

What do you want to learn about writing & publishing?

On Saturday, Septemer 13, 2008, 8 PM EST, readers, aspiring authors, new and established authors are encouraged to tune in to ASA's Blog Talk Radio show, ASK THE AUTHOR. Jessica Tilles, Marie Antionette, and Shani Greene-Dowdell will be our guests on hand to answer your questions about the publishing and writing industry. They will also share a bit about their own literary journeys. Are you ready to learn? Bring your pad and pen to this one!

Now, you may ask, "Who are they and what do they know?" Well, let me break it down to you.

Jessica Tilles is not only a bestselling author, she is the founder and CEO of the esteemed publishing house, Xpress Yourself Publishing, which has been nominated for an African American Literary Award for Independent Publishing House of the Year. Oh yeh, and one of her recently signed authors, Hazel Mills, has also been nominated for Best Erotica fiction. Impressive, huh? Yes, Jessica knows the industry and I'm sure she can answer your questions and recommend some positive avenues to venture.

Marie Antionette, who is she? Marie is the author of "A Girl Named Job", her autobiography. Not only was she bold enough to bare all, sharing her personal trials, tribulations, and her rise to triumph, but Marie also withstood the criticism she received regarding the needed editing of her book. How did she respond? Marie is now making revisions to "A Girl Named Job" and will release it as well as her family's poetry collection, "The Cook Chronicles" soon! She's learned more than a little about writing and publishing.

Shani Greene-Dowdell, her name sounds familiar, who might she be? Have you read Keepin' It Tight? It's been nominated for literary awards. What about Mocha Chocolate: Taste A Piece of Ecstasy? Well, Shani is another name you'll see on the African American Literary Award ballot, as she has been nominated for Self-Published author of the year (Mocha Chocolate). She's a phenomenal author and has launched her own publishing company, Nayberry Publications. I think she is more than qualified to answer your literary questions.

Your co-hosts for the evening will be Nanette Buchanan, author of Family..Secrets, Lies, & Alibis, and John R. Williams, author of "What Could Have Been" and the upcoming XYP title, "The Reunion."

Join us by visiting www.blogtalkradio.com/asa-blog-talk, on Saturday, September 13, 2008, 8 pm EST. The call in number will display on the screen and you are encouraged to call in and speak LIVE to our co-hosts and guest panel. Remember to turn your computer volume down once you call in.

Want to learn more about ASA? Visit our website at www.asanetwork.webs.com

Many blessings!

Linda
www.lindarherman.com

Is it any worse if your husband cheats with a man as opposed to a woman?

As a woman I just have to put it out there. To discover a man is cheating on you is devastating. It hurts when you're a teen in love but it rips your heart out your chest when you're a 'happily' married woman.

So, tell me this, does it hurt more when you discover your husband's mistress is actually a MISTER?

In this day and age our major concern with husbands on the down low is HIV. Not that it can't be contracted from him cheating with women but the risk is higher when he is cheating with a man. But is he any more or any less disloyal for cheating with a man as opposed to a woman?

And while we're talking about it, let me put this out there as well. Would it make a difference if he was the topper (the man who penetrates his male lover) or the bottom (the man who is penetrated by his male lover)?

I wanna hear from you!

Make sure you tune in to Blog Talk Radio tonight, www.blogtalkradio.com/kenda-bell. The topic for tonight is TRUST~

Linda R. Herman
www.lindarherman.com

What's going on with our youth?

Normally when we think of domestic violence, we think of adult women being battered by their male lovers. How many of us think of our teens being in abusive relationships? My hand was down until two years ago. But a shocking up close and personal reality opened my eyes to this growing problem.

Puppy love is supposed to be a sweet emotion for teens. For the first time they 'love' someone other than mommy, daddy, family, and friends. They experience a different emotion and feelings for someone they envision being the greatest person to ever walk the Earth.

So, what happens when that person hits them? Degrades them? What about raping them?

You think it can't happen? You want to believe it doesn't happen? I'm here to tell you it does. I loosely based my short story, "Silent Cries" on a true event that happened to someone near and dear to my heart. She was fifteen when the verbal abuse began; maybe 16 the first time he hit her; and seventeen when she finally broke up with him only to have him rape her a few months later. I KNOW it happens. My question is this: What do we as adults do to stop/prevent it from happening?

"Silent Cries" is featured in the upcoming anthology Somebody Prayed for Me, written by authors Allyson M. Deese, Tinisha Nicole Johnson, and Linda R. Herman. The book releases December 2, 2008, from Xpress Yourself Publishing, www.xpressyourselfpublishing.org.